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Chapter IV
Chapter IV
The Shoulder Of Athos, The Baldrick Of Porthos And The Handkerchief Of Aramis
D`Artagnan, in a state of fury, crossed the antechamber at three bounds,
and was darting toward the stairs, which he reckoned upon descending four at
a time, when, in his heedless course, he ran headforemost against a
musketeer, who was coming out of one of M. de Treville`s back rooms, and
striking his shoulder violently, made him utter a cry, or rather a howl.
"Excuse me," said D`Artagnan, endeavoring to resume his course, "excuse
me, but I am in a hurry."
Scarcely had he descended the first stair, when a hand of iron seized
him by the belt and stopped him.
"You are in a hurry," said the musketeer, as pale as a sheet; "under
that pretense, you run against me; you say, `Excuse me!` and you believe that
that is sufficient? Not at all, my young man. Do you fancy that because you
have heard M. de Treville speak to us a little cavalierly to-day that other
people are to treat us as he speaks to us? Undeceive yourself, my merry
companion, you are not M. de Treville."
"Ma foi!" replied D`Artagnan, recognizing Athos, who, after the dressing
performed by the doctor, was going to his own apartment, "ma foi! I did not
do it intentionally, and, not doing it intentionally, I said, `Excuse me!`
It appears to me that that is quite enough. I repeat to you, however, and
this time, parole d`honneur - I think, perhaps, too often - that I am in
great haste - great haste. Leave your hold then, I beg of you, and let me
go where my business calls me."
"Monsieur," said Athos, letting him go, "you are not polite; it is easy
to perceive that you come from a distance."
D`Artagnan had already strode down three or four stairs, when Athos`
last remark stopped him short.
"Morbleu, monsieur!" said he, "however far I may come, it is not you who
can give me a lesson in good manners, I warn you."
"Perhaps!" said Athos.
"Ah! if I were not in such haste, and if I were not running after some
one," said D`Artagnan.
"Mister gentleman in a hurry, you can find me without running after me;
me! do you understand me?"
"And where, I pray you?"
"Near the Carmes Deschaux."
"At what hour?"
"About noon."
"About noon; that will do, I will be there."
"Endeavor not to make me wait, for at a quarter past twelve I will cut
off your ears as you run."
"Good!" cried D`Artagnan, "I will be there ten minutes before twelve."
And he set off running as if the devil possessed him, hoping that he
might yet find the unknown, whose slow pace could not have carried him far.
But at the street-gate Porthos was talking with the soldier on guard.
Between the two talkers there was just room for a man to pass. D`Artagnan
thought it would suffice for him, and he sprang forward like a dart between
them. But D`Artagnan had reckoned without the wind. As he was about to
pass, the wind blew out Porthos` long cloak, and D`Artagnan rushed straight
into the middle of it. Without doubt, Porthos had reasons for not abandoning
this part of his vestments, for, instead of quitting his hold of the flap in
his hand, he pulled it toward him, so that D`Artagnan rolled himself up in
the velvet, by a movement of rotation explained by the persistency of
Porthos.
D`Artagnan, hearing the musketeer swear, wished to escape from under the
cloak which blinded him, and endeavored to make his way up the folds of it.
He was particularly anxious to avoid marring the freshness of the magnificent
baldrick we are acquainted with; but on timidly opening his eyes, he found
himself with his nose fixed between the two shoulders of Porthos, that is to
say, exactly upon the baldrick.
Alas! how most of the things in this world have nothing in their favor
but appearances! the baldrick was glittering with gold in the front, but was
nothing but simple buff behind. Vainglorious as he was, Porthos could not
afford to have an entirely gold-worked baldrick, but had, at least, half one;
the care on account of the cold, and the necessity for the cloak became
intelligible.
"Vertubleu!" cried Porthos, making strong efforts to get rid of
D`Artagnan, who was wriggling about his back, "the fellow must be mad to run
against people in this manner!"
"Excuse me!" said D`Artagnan, reappearing under the shoulder of the
giant, "but I am in such haste - I was running after some one and - "
"And do you always forget your eyes when you happen to be in a hurry?"
asked Porthos.
"No," replied D`Artagnan, piqued, "no, and thanks to my eyes, I can see
what other people cannot see."
Whether Porthos understood him or did not understand him, giving way to
his anger:
"Monsieur," said he, "you stand a chance of getting chastised if you run
against musketeers in this fashion."
"Chastised, monsieur!" said D`Artagnan, "the expression is strong."
"It is one that becomes a man accustomed to look his enemies in the
face."
"Ah! pardieu! I know full well that you don`t turn your back to
yours!"
And the young man, delighted with his joke, went away laughing loudly.
Porthos foamed with rage, and made a movement to rush after D`Artagnan.
"Presently, presently," cried the latter, "when you haven`t your cloak
on."
"At one o`clock then, behind the Luxembourg."
"Very well, at one o`clock, then," replied D`Artagnan, turning the angle
of the street.
But neither in the street he had passed through, nor in the one which
his eager glance pervaded, could he see any one; however slowly the unknown
had walked, he was gone on his way, or perhaps had entered some house.
D`Artagnan inquired of every one he met with, went down to the ferry, came
up again by the Rue de Seine, and the Croix Rouge; but nothind, absolutely
nothing! This chase was, however, advantageous to him in one sense, for in
proportion as the perspiration broke from his forehead, his heart began to
cool.
He began to reflect upon the events that had passed; they were numerous
and inauspicious; it was scarcely eleven o`clock in the morning, and yet this
morning had already brought him into disgrace with M. de Treville, who could
not fail to think the manner in which D`Artagnan had left him a little
cavalier.
Besides this, he had drawn upon himself two good duels with two men,
each capable of killing three D`Artagnans, with two musketeers, in short,
with two of those beings whom he esteemed so greatly that he placed them in
his mind and heart above all other men.
Appearances were sad. Sure of being killed by Athos, it may easily be
understood that the young man was not very uneasy about Porthos. As hope,
however, is the last thing extinguished in the heart of man, he finished by
hoping that he might survive, although terribly wounded in both these duels,
and in case of surviving, he made the following reprehensions upon his own
conduct.
"What a hare-brained, stupid fellow I am! That brave and unfortunate
Athos was wounded exactly on that shoulder against which I must run
head-foremost, like a ram. The only thing that astonishes me is that he did
not strike me dead at once: he had good cause to do so, the pain I gave him
must have been atrocious. As to Porthos, oh! as to Porthos, ma foi! that`s
a droll affair!"
And, in spite of himself, the young man began to laugh aloud, looking
round carefully, however, to see if his solitary laugh, without an apparent
cause, in the eyes of passers-by, offended no one.
"As to Porthos, that is certainly droll, but I am not the less a giddy
fool. Are people to be run aghinst without warning? No! and have I any
right to go and peep under their cloaks to see what is not there? He would
have pardoned me, he would certainly have pardoned me, if I had not said
anything to him about that cursed baldrick, in ambiguous words, it is true,
but rather drolly ambiguous! Ah! cursed Gascon that I am, I get from one
hobble into another. Friend D`Artagnan," continued he, speaking to himself
with all the amenity that he thought due to himself, "if you escape, of which
there is not much chance, I would advise you to practice perfect politeness
for the future. You must henceforth be admired and quoted as a model of it.
To be obliging and polite does not necessarily make a man a coward. Look at
Aramis now: Aramis is mildness and grace personified. Well! did ever
anybody dream of saying that Aramis is a coward? No, certainly not, and
from this moment I will endeavor to model myself after him. Ah! that`s
strange! here he is!"
D`Artagnan, walking and soliloquizing had arrived within a few steps of
the Hotel d`Arguillon, and in front of that hotel perceived Aramis chatting
gayly with three gentlemen of the king`s guards. On this part Aramis
perceived D`Artagnan; but as he had not forgotten that it was before this
young man that M. de Treville had been so angry in the morning, and that a
witness of the rebuke the musketeers had received was not likely to be at all
agreeable, he pretended not to see him. D`Artagnan, on the contrary, quite
full of his plans of conciliation and courtesy, approached the young men,
with a profound bow, accompanied by a most gracious smile. Aramis bowed his
head slightly, but did not smile. All four, besides, immediately broke off
their conversation.
D`Artagnan was not so dull as not to perceive that he was not wanted;
but he was not sufficiently broken into the fashions of the world to know how
to extricate himself gallantly from a false position, as that of a man
generally is who comes up and mingles with people he is scarcely acquainted
with, and in a conversation that does not concern him. He was seeking in his
mind, then, for the least awkward means of retreat, when he remarked that
Aramis had let his handkerchief fall, and, by mistake, no doubt, had placed
his foot upon it, and it appeared a favorable opportunity to repair his
intrusion: he stooped, and with the most gracious air he could assume, drew
the handkerchief from under the foot of the musketeer, in spite of the
efforts the latter made to detain it, and holding it out to him, said:
"I believe, monsieur, that this is a handkerchief you would be sorry to
lose?"
The handkerchief was, in fact, richly embroidered, and had a coronet and
arms at one of its corners. Aramis blushed excessively, and snatched rather
than took the handkerchief from D`Artagnan`s hand.
"Ah! ah!" cried one of the guards, "will you persist in saying, most
discreet Aramis, that you are not on good terms with Madame de Bois-Tracy,
when that gracious lady has the kindness to lend you her handkerchief?"
Aramis darted at D`Artagnan one of those looks which inform a man that
he has acquired a mortal enemy; then, resuming his mild air:
"You are deceived, gentlemen," said he, "this handkerchief is not mine,
and I cannot fancy why monsieur has taken it into his head to offer it to me
rather than to one of you, and as a proof of what I say, here is mine in my
pocket."
So saying, he pulled out his own handkerchief, which was likewise a very
elegant handkerchief, and of fine cambric, though cambric was then dear, but
a handkerchief with embroidery and without arms, only ornamented with a
single cipher, that of the musketeer.
This time D`Artagnan was not hasty, he perceived his mistake; but the
friends of Aramis were not at all convinced by his assertion, and one of
them, addressing the young musketeer with affected seriousness:
"If it were as you pretend it is," said he, "I should be forced, my dear
Aramis, to reclaim it myself; for, as you very well know, Bois-Tracy is an
intimate friend of mine, and I cannot allow the property of his wife to be
sported as a trophy."
"You make the demand badly," replied Aramis; "and while acknowledging
the justice of your reclamation, I refuse it on account of the form."
"The fact is," hazarded D`Artagnan timidly, "I did not see the
handkerchief fall from the pocket of M. Aramis. He had his foot upon it,
that is all, and I thought from his having his foot upon it, the handkerchief
was his."
"And, you were deceived, my dear sir," replied Aramis coldly, very
little sensible to the reparation; then turning toward that one of the guards
who had declared himself the friend of Bois-Tracy; "besides," continued he,
"I have reflected, my dear intimate friend of Bois-Tracy, that I am not less
tenderly his friend than you can possibly be, so that decidedly this
handkerchief is as likely to have fallen from your pocket as mine."
"No, upon my honor!" cried his majesty`s guard.
"You are about to swear upon your honor and I upon my word, and then it
will be pretty evident that one of us will have lied. Now, here, Montaran,
we will do better than that, let each take a half."
"Of the handkerchief?"
"Yes."
"Perfectly just," cried the two other guards - "the judgment of King
Solomon! Aramis, you certainly are cram-full of wisdom!"
The young men burst into a loud laugh, and, as may be supposed, the
affair had no other consequence. In a moment or two the conversation ceased,
and the three guards and the musketeer, after having cordially shaken hands,
separated, the guards going one way, and Aramis another.
"Now is my time to make my peace with this gentleman," said D`Artagnan
to himself, having stood on one side during the whole of the latter part of
the conversation; and with this good feeling drawing near to Aramis, who was
going without paying any attention to him.
"Monsieur," said he, "you will excuse me, I hope."
"Ah! monsieur," interrupted Aramis, "permit me to observe to you, that
you have not acted in this affair as a man of good breeding ought to have
done."
"What, monsieur!" cried D`Artagnan, "you suppose - "
"I suppose, monsieur, that you are not a fool, and that you knew very
well, although coming from Gascony, that people do not tread upon
pocket-handkerchiefs without a reason. What the devil! Paris is not paved
with cambric!"
"Monsieur, you act wrongly in endeavoring to mortify me," said
D`Artagnan, with whom the natural quarrelsome spirit began to speak more
loudly than his pacific resolutions. "I am from Gascony, it is true; and
since you know it, there is no occasion to tell you that Gascons are not very
enduring, so that when they have begged to be excused at once, were it even
for a folly, they are convinced that they have done already at least as much
again as they ought to have done."
"Monsieur, what I say to you about the matter," said Aramis, "is not for
the sake of seeking a quarrel. Thank God! I am not a spadasin, and, being
a musketeer but for a time, I only fight when I am forced to do so, and
always with great repugnance; but this time the affair is serious, for here
is a lady compromised by you."
"By us, you mean," cried D`Artagnan.
"Why did you so injudiciously restore me the handkerchief?"
"Why did you so awkwardly let it fall?"
"I have said, monsieur, that the handkerchief did not fall from my
pocket."
"Well, and by saying so, you have lied twice, monsieur, for I saw it
fall."
"Oh, oh! you take it up in that way, do you, Master Gascon? Well, I
will teach you how to behave yourself."
"And I will send you back to you mass-book, Master Abbe. Draw, if you
please, and instantly - "
"Not so, if you please, my good friend, not here, at least. Do you not
perceive that we are opposite the Hotel d`Arguillon, which is full of the
cardinal`s creatures? How do I know that it is not his eminence who has
honored you with the commission to bring him in my head? Now I entertain a
ridiculous partiality for my head, it seems to suit my shoulders so
admirably. I have no objection to killing you, depend upon that, but
quietly, in a snug remote place, where you will not be able to boast of your
death to anybody."
"I agree, monsieur, but do not be too confident. Take away your
handkerchief; whether it belongs to you or another, you may, perhaps, stand
in need of it."
"Monsieur is a Gascon?" asked Aramis.
"Yes. Monsieur does not postpone an interview through prudence?"
"Prudence, monsieur, is a virtue sufficiently useless to musketeers, I
know, but indispensable to churchmen; and as I am only a musketeer
provisionally, I hold it good to be prudent. At two o`clock I shall have the
honor of expecting you at the hotel of M. de Treville. There I will point
out to you the best place and time."
The two young men bowed and separated, Aramis ascending the street which
led to the Luxembourg, while D`Artagnan, perceiving the appointed hour was
approaching, took the road to the Carmes-Deschaux, saying to himself,
"Decidedly I can`t draw back; but at least, if I am killed, I shall be killed
by a musketeer!"
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